One of the biggest secrets we attempt to keep is a sense of independence and self-esteem. The concept or feeling that you are important in some special way, that you are adored by a unique person, that an individual is giving you unique attention, these are some of the ego’s very subtle secrets. We are trying to hide our Sacred Self and are engaging in all these varied games, which look to be very upsetting. It is quite depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we attempt to get scraps of distinctive love, attention and acknowledgment to prop ourselves up.
We work so hard at becoming “superior people”, at gaining greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be appreciated more and be more popular. The entire self-help sector is focused on enhancing the self so you can become a better you. That is another gimmick we secretly play on ourselves, thinking we have to keep turning our wheels trying to grow into better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very relaxing when you start to grasp that you do not have to turn into any better than you presently are. You were made perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find serenity but through self-acceptance.
As I collaborated with A Course in Miracles, I could observe that there was a terror of divine love in my mind. I understood this was the ego’s apprehension of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being exposed and being seen as a puff of nothingness. That is the apprehension of intimacy. We talk about this fear in relationships, which is sometimes depicted as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a fear of dropping our persona, our mask of distinctiveness. It is the terror of getting swept away by a glorious love, a love so intense that none of us can even fathom something as magnificent and potent!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great consciousness. It always starts with feeling like you have done something inappropriate, whether you’ve masturbated, stolen something, malhandled an individual, or there is something in your mind that you have considered as so ghastly that you don’t even want to confront it, you just want to dismiss about it and push it out of awareness.
Underneath all those reminiscences and thoughts, is the belief that we are divided. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an impossible belief, but we think that it is true; We have deemed it as ghastly and have pushed it out of awareness. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in separation. And as you really give yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally face this hidden belief in division!
Please, share any thoughts and remarks with me below, I’d adore to hear about your journey!
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